Mother’s Day
Here we are on Salisbury Plain
Sat in the car in the pouring rain
I knew that I should never have come
And now I’m here without my mum
She got a lift to use the phone
So she could to the AA moan
The car I knew it was going to die
And sure enough on the brow a sigh
Here I wait how long I wonder
A pick up truck I see there yonder
To rescue us from this damp day
And send us happy on our way
Oh dear Oh no but once again
I’m sat in the car in the pouring rain
Mother has gone to the phone once more
I think I’ll get out and kick the door
The AA man is on his way
Thank God we are members of Relay
Oh to be at home again
Out of the blasted pouring rain
A café this time we do have
A cup of tea and a trip the lav
The relay truck do hurry please
Or I will throw away the keys
Home is oh so far away
What a wasted bloody day
Another hour has passed us by
Now we are laughing or else we would cry
Tea we asked for coffee we got
Money we are spending is quite a lot
Fog is falling night is near
Darkness I think will soon be here
At last a yellow van arrives
The car it starts what a surprise
But sure enough again it dies
Again and again the mechanic tries
As he takes the car to pieces
The fog and rain it never ceases
Once again we are homeward bound
Oh no what is that awful sound
On the road we are stuck once more
I really will kick in the door
Finally give up we must
I think the bloody car is bust
Again we wait another hour
The day is turning rather sour
Lets have another cup of tea
Oh hell that means another pee
At last the relay man arrives
Hurray lets down that final cup
As home before us grandly lies
I really don’t believe my eyes
Husband greets us with a smile
And for divorce I will now file
As a cup of tea he makes
I think the micky he now takes